And after this, it will be far longer. In my usual long winded dramatic fashion I want to thank all of you. This has been a part of my healing, and now I need to leave, to be healed and heal in ways that I cannot imagine, ways that the Lord my God only have known and prepared for me. I will not continue this blog after this post, for a couple reasons, one of which I will not be in a position to explain.
My mission to God requires me to sacrifice my worldly connections in ways that are completely impractical and silly to the world, but are just what I need in order to keep the understanding that this is not real life, this is merely a test, a probationary life to learn what we are made out of and how we will be able to cope with doubt and fear. This life is simply a test. Nothing matters in this life except what we do about it. Our actions are the sole reason we are here. Therefore, to "give up" the world by not having being able to phone or see my loved ones, not being able to listen to every kind of music and not being able to see any kind of television or movies, they are necessary sacrifices.
I will not have access to internet so I will not be able to keep up this blog, sadly it will go on inactive for a good couple years.
A couple years is no short period of time for a nineteen year old. I honestly cannot comprehend giving up so much for so long.
Until I saw people come back changed.
That interested me. I saw everyone come back totally new and changed, knowing who God is and what He wants His children to know: that they are loved. For these two years all I am doing is spreading good news, that is what "Gospel" is translated to from Greek. Happiness. Focusing so much on helping people become happy is an incredible thing, something that undoubtedly has changed others before me, so how can it not happen to me if I do not put in the same effort and work that they do?
It works, just as gravity works. God works in patterns that we sometimes cannot have the consistency to behold, nor the time. Happiness is no different. There are eternal truths about it that we may never understand completely as mortals but one day will make perfect sense to us just as gravity does. The only problem is if we wait till then to accept them it will be too late.
A leap of faith is required.
Just as I am taking a leap of faith by sacrificing these next two years, we must trust our unseen but nonetheless existing Heavenly Father. He will help us, though not always how we think we need to be helped, or when we think we do. There are many cases and examples that we cannot understand, but fear not, He does, and He knows us enough that He creates situations to make us stronger. We cannot rely on anyone or anything else except for HIM, because everything and everyone is bound by the same mortal limits shared by you and I.
Nothing lasts, lest Father lets it. Not even us, as we have seen for untold amounts of time. Death is the perfect plague to our imperfect selves, sealing our fate as mortals and weaklings, unable to save ourselves, let alone another soul.
But Father can, and even has. He sent His firstborn son, Jesus Christ, to die and conquer death that we might be able to as well. How does this work? Well, honestly I do not know the details, except that it is a divine law that we may or may not have to proper time-frame/consistency to be able to comprehend. I hope to come to a better knowledge of it soon, but that will only be through sincere prayer (faith in word) and then to live like Christ and know Him and His works through the scriptures (faith in action).
I know these things are true. I know that my God has a plan for me, and that with His help and guidance, I can come to know what this plan is (to a certain degree) and then to get the necessary strength to then go and DO IT.
Friends, family, brothers, sisters, neighbors, this is real. I am truly grateful that I know this and I ask everyday that I can help others know it too. This is my goodbye to you and your incredible selves. Please stay strong and have faith. I pray everyday that you might be able to come to an understanding, or a better understanding of the good news of our Father and Jesus Christ. I hope that you all will be able to return to Him with honor and clean hands, clean hands that have worked hard in His vineyard. I love you all, and if you ever need help or someone to talk to, "take your troubles to the chapel" as Elvis said.
...Goodbye, and may God be with you till we meet again!
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